Millies Cookie Recipe - Fun for all the family

Thanks to Hotpink from Answerbank for this

Chocolate Chip Cookies Millies Style

Ingredients

125g butter, softened
100g light brown soft sugar
125g caster sugar
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 tsp vanilla extract
225g self-raising flour
½ tsp salt
200g chocolate chips

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C, gas mark 4.

2. Cream butter and sugars, once creamed, combine in the egg and vanilla.

3. Sift in the flour and salt, then the chocolate chips.

4. Roll into walnut size balls, for a more homemade look, or roll into a long, thick sausage shape and slice to make neater looking cookies.

5. Place on ungreased baking paper. If you want to have the real Millies experience then bake for just 7 minutes, till the cookies are just setting - the cookies will be really doughy and delicious. Otherwise cook for 10 minutes until just golden round the edges.

6. Take out of the oven and leave to harden for a minute before transferring to a wire cooling rack. These are great warm, and they also store well, if they don't all get eaten straight away!

How To fall asleep in 60 Seconds

There are few things more frustrating than not being able to fall asleep at night, and just lying there tossing and turning.

The more frustrated you get, the less likely you are to fall asleep, and then it becomes a psychological battle which can lead to longer term insomnia.

But a Harvard-trained physician thinks he has a method which, if used properly, means you can get to sleep in 60 seconds flat.
Dr. Andrew Weil pioneered the 4-7-8 technique, which sounds quite easy...

1) Breathe in for four seconds

 

The 4-7-8 technique can help you relax and get to sleep

2) Hold your breath for seven seconds

3) Breathe our for eight seconds

4) Repeat this three times (which takes 57 seconds)

5) You should then feel incredibly sleepy

We tried it in the office and it does very much make you want to go to sleep 

 

Why does it work? 

The eight seconds of holding your breath is the important part. Following filling your lungs with oxygen after a deep breath, it allows that oxygen to circulate.

This relaxes your body, while focusing on the breathing means you empty all the stress and frustration from your mind.
It's similar, in a way, to breathing techniques used in Mindfullness, which also seeks to help you get rid of those recurring thoughts that just won't go away.
Source

How to Perform the 4-7-8 Breathing Exercise

Discover 7 easy ways to help you achieve your goals

Everyone knows that goals are supposed to be the way to help you get what you want in life, set a goal and achieve more. 

Why do so many people fail to achieve their goals though? It seems so simple; think about what you want, have an intention to achieve it and hopefully your life will change. 

There are many reasons why you might not be achieving your goals. 

 

Unfortunately, thinking alone will not get you anywhere, neither will simply having a good intention without being prepared for challenges, or not having clarity where to start, or sometimes not even knowing what you want. The real difference lies  in how effectively you set your goals and how much support you give yourself to achieve them after you set them. What I want to do is show you some things you can do to help you boost your success in achieving your goals.

Get clear on your goals – Decide what you want and get clear on your goal as well as
-your deadline
-how you will measure your goal
-what you need to do to achieve it
-what resources you have and what you will need
-your obstacles and how you will overcome them
-what action steps you need to take

Plan effectively – You need to look at your end goal and determine what steps you need to take to achieve your goal. Then you need to include these steps and schedule them into your diary/calendar. 
 Remember to only plan 75% of your time, take routine tasks into consideration, batch where possible and also plan according to your energy levels.

Do something – Take action. Planning but then giving into procrastination is not going to get you any results. Most of the time we have a good intention to achieve our goals, and then we hit resistance when taking further action. Preparing for your obstacles and also working through them when they arise are key to achieving your goals. You will come up against resistance often, everybody does, this is called homeostasis, a natural resistance to change. The key is to take action and have plans to keep you moving forward.

Keep your goal at the top of your mind – Motivation is pivotal to achieving your goal. Motivation gives you that boost you need to keep going when you feel like giving up. Everyday looking at your goal, reaffirm it to yourself, visualize it before you go to bed. Make it part of your daily routine, feel it.

Keep focused – Always stay focused on your thoughts and what you are feeling. Are you focusing on what you want to happen or what you are scared will happen? Focus on what you want and not on what you don’t want. Review your goals and progress regularly as well.

Commit and Persevere – To achieve any goal, you must be committed and persevere, even when you feel like giving up. Some days will be easier than others but to achieve any goal, you must persevere until you obtain it. Too many people have given up just before they finally achieved success.

Act as if – Always believe and have faith that you will achieve your goal and take confident action. To believe in only those things which you can see is not belief at all. If you don’t believe it will happen, it won’t happen. Whatever you believe, you are right. Act as if and expect the best to happen.

Journey, not destination – Lastly, stay present, enjoy it, it is about the journey and not the destination. Don’t feel like everything will be fine only once you reach your goal. Find the things that you can be grateful and happy for now and remember that reaching your goal will just make things much better, but don’t have the mindset of ‘when…I will…’

If you have a burning desire to achieve more than you currently are but you feel lost and stuck, remember, it is better to work through those emotions now than to give up on your dreams forever.

Source

Want to sound like a leader? Start by saying your name right

The Most Successful Leaders Do 15 Things Automatically, Every Day

 

Leadership is learned behavior that becomes unconscious and automatic over time. For example, leaders can make several important decisions about an issue in the time it takes others to understand the question. Many people wonder how leaders know how to make the best decisions, often under immense pressure. The process of making these decisions comes from an accumulation of experiences and encounters with a multitude of difference circumstances, personality types and unforeseen failures.   More so, the decision making process is an acute understanding of being familiar with the cause and effect of behavioral and circumstantial patterns;  knowing the intelligence and interconnection points of the variables involved in these patterns allows a leader to confidently make decisions and project the probability of their desired outcomes.   The most successful leaders are instinctual decision makers.  Having done it so many times throughout their careers, they become immune to the pressure associated with decision making and extremely intuitive about the process of making the most strategic and best decisions. This is why most senior executives will tell you they depend strongly upon their “gut-feel” when making difficult decisions at a moment’s notice. Beyond decision making, successful leadership across all areas becomes learned and instinctual over a period of time. Successful leaders have learned the mastery of anticipating business patterns, finding opportunities in pressure situations, serving the people they lead and overcoming hardships.   No wonder the best CEOs are paid so much money.   In 2011, salaries for the 200 top-paid CEOs rose 5 percent to a median $14.5 million per year, according to a study by compensation-data company Equilar for The New York Times.
If you are looking to advance your career into a leadership capacity and / or already assume leadership responsibilities – here are 15 things you must do automatically, every day, to be a successful leader in the workplace:


1.  Make Others Feel Safe to Speak-Up
Many times leaders intimidate their colleagues with their title and power when they walk into a room.   Successful leaders deflect attention away from themselves and encourage others to voice their opinions.  They are experts at making others feel safe to speak-up and confidently share their perspectives and points of view.   They use their executive presence to create an approachable environment.

2.  Make Decisions
Successful leaders are expert decision makers.    They either facilitate the dialogue to empower their colleagues to reach a strategic conclusion or they do it themselves.  They focus on “making things happen” at all times – decision making activities that sustain progress.   Successful leaders have mastered the art of politicking and thus don’t waste their time on issues that disrupt momentum.  They know how to make 30 decisions in 30 minutes.

3.  Communicate Expectations
Successful leaders are great communicators, and this is especially true when it comes to “performance expectations.”   In doing so, they remind their colleagues of the organization’s core values and mission statement – ensuring that their vision is properly translated and actionable objectives are properly executed.
I had a boss that managed the team by reminding us of the expectations that she had of the group.   She made it easy for the team to stay focused and on track.  The protocol she implemented – by clearly communicating expectations – increased performance and helped to identify those on the team that could not keep up with the standards she expected from us.


4.  Challenge People to Think
The most successful leaders understand their colleagues’ mindsets, capabilities and areas for improvement.  They use this knowledge/insight to challenge their teams to think and stretch them to reach for more.   These types of leaders excel in keeping their people on their toes, never allowing them to get comfortable and enabling them with the tools to grow.
If you are not thinking, you’re not learning new things.  If you’re not learning, you’re not growing – and over time becoming irrelevant in your work.



5.  Be Accountable to Others
Successful leaders allow their colleagues to manage them.  This doesn’t mean they are allowing others to control them – but rather becoming accountable to assure they are being proactive to their colleagues needs.
Beyond just mentoring and sponsoring selected employees, being accountable to others is a sign that your leader is focused more on your success than just their own.


6.  Lead by Example
Leading by example sounds easy, but few leaders are consistent with this one.   Successful leaders practice what they preach and are mindful of their actions. They know everyone is watching them and therefore are incredibly intuitive about detecting those who are observing their every move, waiting to detect a performance shortfall.


7.  Measure & Reward Performance
Great leaders always have a strong “pulse” on business performance and those people who are the performance champions. Not only do they review the numbers and measure performance ROI, they are active in acknowledging hard work and efforts (no matter the result).    Successful leaders never take consistent performers for granted and are mindful of rewarding them. 

 

8.  Provide Continuous Feedback

Employees want their leaders to know that they are paying attention to them and they appreciate any insights along the way.  Successful leaders always provide feedback and they welcome reciprocal feedback by creating trustworthy relationships with their colleagues..   They understand the power of perspective and have learned the importance of feedback early on in their career as it has served them to enable workplace advancement. 

9.  Properly Allocate and Deploy Talent

Successful leaders know their talent pool and how to use it.  They are experts at activating the capabilities of their colleagues and knowing when to deploy their unique skill sets given the circumstances at hand.  

10.  Ask Questions, Seek Counsel

Successful leaders ask questions and seek counsel all the time.  From the outside, they appear to know-it-all – yet on the inside, they have a deep thirst for knowledge and constantly are on the look-out to learn new things because of their commitment to making themselves better through the wisdom of others.

11.  Problem Solve; Avoid Procrastination

Successful leaders tackle issues head-on and know how to discover the heart of the matter at hand.    They don’t procrastinate and thus become incredibly proficient at problem solving; they learn from and don’t avoid uncomfortable circumstances (they welcome them).

Getting ahead in life is about doing the things that most people don’t like doing.

12.  Positive Energy & Attitude

Successful leaders create a positive and inspiring workplace culture.  They know how to set the tone and bring an attitude that motivates their colleagues to take action.   As such, they are likeable, respected and strong willed.  They don’t allow failures to disrupt momentum.

13.  Be a Great Teacher

Many employees in the workplace will tell you that their leaders have stopped being teachers.   Successful leaders never stop teaching because they are so self-motivated to learn themselves.  They use teaching to keep their colleagues well-informed and knowledgeable through statistics, trends, and other newsworthy items.

Successful leaders take the time to mentor their colleagues and make the investment to sponsor those who have proven they are able and eager to advance.

14.  Invest in Relationships

Successful leaders don’t focus on protecting their domain – instead they expand it by investing in mutually beneficial relationships. Successful leaders associate themselves with “lifters and other leaders” – the types of people that can broaden their sphere of influence.  Not only for their own advancement, but that of others.

Leaders share the harvest of their success to help build momentum for those around them. 

15.  Genuinely Enjoy Responsibilities

Successful leaders love being leaders – not for the sake of power but for the meaningful and purposeful impact they can create.   When you have reached a senior level of leadership – it’s about your ability to serve others and this can’t be accomplished unless you genuinely enjoy what you do.

In the end, successful leaders are able to sustain their success because these 15 things ultimately allow them to increase the value of their organization’s brand – while at the same time minimize the operating risk profile.   They serve as the enablers of talent, culture and results.

Source

7 Secrets of Fun Families

What's that saying about raising a family?
The days are long, but the years are short. That's the carpe diem sentiment we heard from readers when we asked them to weigh in with favorite ideas for packing family life full of as much joy as possible. From hundreds of responses, we selected the best and organized them into seven categories. As you'll see, the ideas are simple (Make a list of activities! Draw on the windows!), but the memories created are lasting.

1. They plan together for adventure.

Defeating inertia is easier when you've done a bit of preparation. These families understand that having a game plan for fun is key to ensuring that special excursions and activities don't get put off for "someday."

• Encouraging Outings: The Linduski family keeps an inspirational bulletin board in the entryway of their Eau Claire, Wisconsin, home, and when one of them spots an article on a can't-miss destination, he tears it out and pins it up. "There are a few bigger trips we want to take, like a trip to see redwood trees in California," explains mom Toni. "But most of the ideas are afternoon excursions: a zip line tour, a visit to a pumpkin patch, or a hike to a waterfall."

 

• Seasonal Must-Dos: Every few months, the Carter kids -- Emily, age 11, Jasper, 8, and Natalie, 5 -- sit down with their mom, Amy, and brain- storm a list of the activities they love. Spring items, for example, might include planting flowers, going on a scavenger hunt, and exploring five unfamiliar parks. The Franklin, Indiana, family then checks off the activities as they do them. "I tend to get wrapped up in the necessities of life," Amy explains. "The lists make sure we plan some fun every week."

 

• Letting Chance Decide: The Sanders family of Elk Grove, California, works together to fill three grab bags with spur-of-the-moment outing ideas written on index cards. The simplest activities, such as a picnic in the park, go in one bag; more time-consuming or costly ones, such as a museum visit, go in another; and the most involved activities, such as a trip to an amusement park, go in a third. When they have free time and funds, the family draws a card from the right bag. There's only one rule, explains mom Barbara: "Whatever that card says, we do."

2. They turn their home into fun zones.

You don't have to attach a slide to your stairway (though one of our readers did!), but making room for games, creativity, and plain old hanging out can make a house a home.

• Graffiti Artists: Without handing your kids spray paint, you can still give them freedom to color their world. For Kelly Maver, this means keeping a jar of dry- erase markers on the kitchen window seat so that her daughters can use them on the windows: "My 9-year-old practices her spelling and makes murals for every season, and my 2-year-old pretends to write words," explains the Hewitt, New Jersey, mom, before assuring us, "It wipes right off!"

 

• DIY Turf: The Axlers of Madison, New Jersey, give "home team" a whole new meaning by making a sports arena of their basement. Bases and a home plate, yard lines, or goals (depending on the season) are marked on the green carpet with masking tape. Jordan, age 7, and Becca, 4, then get their game on with Wiffle bats or soft plastic balls. Meanwhile, in Dover, Ohio, the Warther family mows part of their lawn extra-close to make a golf green: "We line holes with sunken soup cans and add bike- flag markers. The kids and their friends love to practice their chipping and putting."

 

• Creating a Kid Cave: Kids and hidey-holes are a match made in heaven. That's what Carolyn Halliburton in Plano, Texas, got to thinking. Sure, she could use the storage space, but an under-stair closet in her home practically begged to be a hideout. The family took out some shelves, painted the walls blue and silver (they're Dallas Cowboys fans), and hung up dry-erase boards. "We also hung a curtain in the entrance to make it more secret," says Carolyn. Sons Taylor, age 10, and Andrew, 8, love to read, play, and draw in there -- and hide out with friends, of course.

3. They celebrate the little things.

Life's too short to save all the fun for birthdays and big holidays, say these families, so they look for excuses to add a dose of silliness to otherwise ordinary weeks. The reason isn't important; what matters is reveling in togetherness.

• Feting the Everyday (And the Off-the-Wall) : Heather Crosby of Parker, Colorado, observes what she calls "odd holidays" with her 8-year-old and her 6-year-old twins. "I'll slip pieces of white chocolate into their lunches on National White Chocolate Day, and we've played Monopoly on Play Monopoly Day. My kids were not too fond of National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day, though!" The Thomas family of Willard, North Carolina, turns wacky holidays into themed dinners, complete with props and costumes. They celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day, Fairy Day, and the family favorite, Cave Night. "We all dress like cavemen, and we serve dinosaur bones, aka ribs." (Tip: For a list of these special days, do a web search for "Everyday Holidays.")

 

• Keeping It in the Family: The Smiths of Poway, California, love to entertain ... themselves. "Every couple of months, we like to host little parties where we are the only guests," explains mom Joannie. The three kids, ages 9, 13, and 17, help pick an event -- the Super Bowl, the Oscars, or simply the release of a much-anticipated DVD -- then they decide on the food (fun appetizers are a favorite) and deck themselves out in festive clothing. "We get to spend good, quality time with each other," Joannie says, "and celebrate us as a family."

4. They narrow the gap between playing and learning.

How do you expand children's minds? By increasing the fun! These families do that by making time for curiosity and exploration.

• Family Book Club: The Delgados of Edcouch, Texas, love to read. The family chooses a book together, reads a chapter aloud during the day, and discusses it over dinner. To make their book club even more rewarding, they give themselves a treat (a movie, say, or an ice- cream outing) when they finish a book. Recently, they've read the Harry Potter series (a favorite), The Hunger Games, and mom Laura's choice, Little Women.

 

• Alphabet Party: At the Pincock family's weekly alphabet-themed celebrations, p is for party. Also, pink clothes, pizza and pears for lunch, Peter Pan and popcorn, and playing in the playroom. Every letter gets its own occasion to shine. "The parties kept my preschooler happy and busy during the long winter months," explains Canton, Michigan, mom Amy. "We made it through all 26 letters by the time spring came!"

 

• Messy Exploration: Allison Beard of Brighton, Colorado, believes that giving kids the freedom to make a mess also gives them license to learn. That's why she helps her son, 5-year-old Griffin, get up to some crazy concocting at a backyard science lab in fair weather. When conditions are less favorable, the dining table, covered with a shower curtain, stands in. "We set him up with a variety of nontoxic things he can mix together to see what happens," Allison explains. Ingredients include sugar, salt, cornstarch, baking soda, vinegar, water, and food coloring. Ice-cube trays or muffin tins are perfect for mixing, and craft sticks for stirring. A lab coat (and an evil-scientist laugh) completes the scene.

5. They fill their lives with sweet surprises

Kids thrive on routines, but it's often the unexpected joys that they truly treasure. These parents know how to catch their gang happily off guard -- and make the kinds of memories that last forever.

• Keeping Them Guessing: The weekend-afternoon Mystery Trips started when Nikki Price was a girl and her mother would put the kids in the car without telling them where they were going. Now she carries on the tradition with her children, Zachary, age 8, and Rachel, 4, in Plainfield, Illinois. "We'll tell them how they need to dress and if they need to bring anything, but that's it," says Nikki. "The anticipation is a lot of fun, and my husband and I get a kick out of their guesses." A park? The zoo? It's a mystery -- at least until they get there.

 

• Breaking the Rules: When it's lights out, it's time to sleep, right? Not if you're the three McKee kids in Katy, Texas. "I get everyone to bed like normal," their mom, Mandy, explains, "then, about ten minutes later, I blast music throughout the house! Everyone gets up, and we go get ice cream with the kids in their pj's. They expect it every summer, but they never know exactly when it's coming."

 

• Surprising Others: Wacky stuff is plenty fun at home, but foisting it on an unsuspecting public really ups the ante. For example, Wave Day. You don't know about Wave Day? Oh, right, that's because the Johnson family of Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania, made it up. On Wave Day, mom Rebecca, Gwyneth, age 14, and Jessica, 10, wave to every single person they can. "It's amazing to my girls that such a simple act can make a person's day."

6. They find the silver lining.

Fun is really a state of mind, as these look-on-the-bright-side families remind us. With a little creative thinking, they banish disappointment and turn it into delight.

• A Can-Do Attitude: When a storm kept the Barbee family from the state fair, they decided to bring the fair to them. "I gave everyone an hour to make something to submit as an entry to the Family Fair," says Sonnet, an Idaho Falls, Idaho, mother of four. "We had artwork, a coin collection, homemade cookies, and a flower arrangement, and I awarded prizes to everyone." They competed in a trampoline-trick rodeo and a watermelon-eating contest. "The kids had so much fun that we forgot that we missed out on the real state fair."

 

• Let Them Eat Cake (or Pie): When kids get the blues, distraction can be the best remedy. While her husband is away on business, Celi Back mixes it up so that the six kids, ages 9 months to 12, don't miss him as much. They camp out in the yard, make a construction paper "Welcome Home" sign, and, naturally, eat pie for dinner. "Once, we had spaghetti pie, then chocolate pie for dessert, and we ate it all on the floor, picnic-style," says the Tempe, Arizona, mom.

7. They make work feel like play.

These families skip the nagging and tackle household chores with a party spirit. It's got to get done, so it might as well be fun.

• Sorting It Out: "Laundry party!" It's not your usual call to merrymaking, but that's what Janet Mongilio yells to her family when there's clean wash to be sorted in their Parkersburg, West Virginia, home. "All four of us run to the bedroom, dump the baskets of clothes on the bed, and start sorting them -- and throwing them at each other." (Picture a washday version of a food fight.) Chaos! Mayhem! And, in the end, a neat pile of folded clothes for everyone.

 

• Harnessing the Competitive Spirit: When it comes to doing boring tasks, the Button family of Fayetteville, Arkansas, finds that a beat-the-clock contest gets everybody motivated. (Could that be because they've got two boys, ages 9 and 12, in the house?) "We set the timer, and we attempt, as a family, to beat our own time unloading the dishwasher, getting the trash out, or doing any one chore together," explains mom Kristi. The catch: "The dishes have to get put away in the right place and unbroken."

 

• Hunting for a Clean Room: To bolster her kids' enthusiasm for tidying up, Carol Vargas of Kennesaw, Georgia, turns it into a rousing scavenger hunt. She hides clues (drawings or objects in small ziplock bags) in the clutter for her cleaning kids to find. The hints help the kids figure out their reward for completing the task. "It could be something as simple as a special lunch of fave foods, a chance to pick a toy out of our prize box, or a visit to the local park."

Originally published in the March 2013 issue of FamilyFun magazine

Have some fun with the Family - Make a Tres Leches cake (3 milks)

Personal Development needs to be fun as well as educational, bring the family closer by making a mess in the kitchen or baking a cake for someone special.

Try this cake, its easy to make and you can get the kids involved!

RICH DAD POOR DAD BY ROBERT KIYOSAKI ANIMATED BOOK REVIEW

5 Proven Methods For Gaining Self Discipline

There are many important qualities that can contribute to a person’s achievements and happiness, but there is only one that begets sustainable, long-term success in all aspects of life: self discipline. Whether in terms of your diet, fitness, work ethic or relationships,  self discipline is the number one trait needed to accomplish goals, lead a healthy lifestyle, and ultimately, be happy.
According to a 2013 study by Wilhelm Hoffman, people with high self control are happier than those without. The study discovered this is true because the self disciplined subjects were more capable of dealing with goal conflicts. These people spent less time debating whether to indulge in behaviors detrimental to their health, and were able to make positive decisions more easily. The self disciplined did not allow their choices to be dictated by impulses or feelings. Instead, they made informed, rational decisions on a daily basis without feeling overly stressed or upset. 

(Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn DeLight)

Despite what many may think, self discipline is a learned behavior. It requires practice and repetition in your day-to-day life. To improve your own self discipline, test out these 5 proven methods for gaining better control. This regimen will help you to establish good habits, break bad ones, and improve your control by making simple changes to your everyday routine. Improved self discipline will allow you to live a freer life by helping you to make healthy choices, not emotional ones. Give it a shot. Your happiness will thank you for it.

1. Remove temptations. 
Self control is often easiest when abiding by the old saying, “out of sight, out of mind.” Removing all temptations and distractions from your environment is a crucial first step when working to improve your self discipline. If you are trying to have better control of your eating, toss the junk food. Ask your office intern to leave you off of the daily lunch order email. If you want to improve your focus while working, turn off your cell phone and remove the clutter from your desk. If you’re really having trouble, download the SelfControl app on your computer to block distraction websites – Facebook, Youtube, even e-mail – for a set period of time. Set yourself up for success by ditching the bad influences.

2. Eat regularly and healthily. 
Studies have shown that low blood sugar often weakens a person’s resolve. When you’re hungry, your ability to concentrate suffers as your brain is not functioning to its highest potential. Hunger makes it difficult to focus on the tasks at hand, not to mention making you grumpy and pessimistic. You are much more likely to have a weakened sense of self control in all areas of our life – diet, exercise, work, relationships… you name it. In order to stay on track, make sure that you are well fueled throughout the day with healthy snacks and meals every few hours. I personally make sure to always have some almonds or Muscle Milk on hand. These snacks ensure that I can get a dose of healthy protein and fats throughout the day when needed. Eating often regulates your blood sugar levels and improves your decision making skills and concentration. Allow you brain to focus on your goals and priorities instead of on your growling stomach.

3. Don’t wait for it to “feel right.” 
Improving your self discipline means changing up your normal routine, which can be uncomfortable and awkward. Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, explains that habit behaviors are traced to a part of the brain called the basal ganglia – a portion of the brain associated with emotions, patterns, and memories. Decisions, on the other hand, are made in the pre-frontal cortex, a completely different area. When a behavior becomes habit, we stop using our decision-making skills and instead function on auto-pilot. Therefore, breaking a bad habit and building a new habit not only requires us to make active decisions, it will feel wrong. Your brain will resist the change in favor of what it has been programmed to do. The solution? Embrace the wrong. Acknowledge that it will take a while for your new regime to feel right or good or natural. Keep chugging along. It will happen.

 4. Schedule breaks, treats, and rewards for yourself.

 Self discipline does not mean your new regimen needs to be entirely cold turkey, hard core, or drill sergeant-like in execution. In fact, giving yourself zero wiggle room often results in failures, disappointments, and giving into your old ways. While practicing self control, schedule specific breaks, treats, and rewards for yourself. Dieting? Designate Saturday as ice cream sundae day. Trying to lose weight? Treat yourself with a fancy massage after a month of gym trips. Working on controlling your spending? Allow yourself a $25 splurge at the mall on Sunday. (Leave the credit cards at home, and bring cash only). Self discipline can be hard. Reward your effort.

5. Forgive yourself and move forward. Instituting a new way of thinking won’t always go according to plan. You will have ups and downs, fabulous successes, and flat out failures. The key is to keep moving forward. When you have a setback, acknowledge what caused it and move on. It is easy to get wrapped up in guilt, anger, or frustration, but these emotions will not help build improve self discipline. Instead, use the hiccups in your plan as learning experiences for the future. Forgive yourself, and get back in the saddle ASAP. The longer you’re off your game, the harder it is to keep going in a positive direction.

Souce

HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE - THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE B...

Use Mistakes to Achieve Success

No matter what you do in life, you will make mistakes in your quest for success. Whether your path is entrepreneurship, athletics, or another pursuit, it is important that you embrace these mistakes as the perfect learning opportunity to achieve success.

Often looked down upon in modern society, mistakes are simply unavoidable on any path in life. It is time we changed how we view making mistakes and their role in promoting success.

Mistakes Are Rarely the End of the World
Even if each mistake that you make seems like the end of the world, there are people with far worse stories. In some cases, mistakes can lead to death, loss of property, or relationships, but that doesn’t mean that you cannot recover in order to be successful with whichever endeavor you would like. After all of these mistakes are made, you can either complain, feel emotionally drained, or take a learning approach to your situation.

At the moment, the pain might be very real. Many of these scars will even last you a lifetime, but this will prevent you from ever making the same mistake again. For anyone trying to be successful, avoiding the same mistake more than once is key.

Victory From Mistakes
Whether you believe it or not, many of the top leaders in world history made tremendous mistakes earlier in their lives. Some of them even led to the death of friends and comrades, but each man learned from the mistakes in order to be successful.

George Washington – well known as the founder of the USA, Washington started his military career in the French and Indian War as a Corporal in the Colonial Militia. In one skirmish, Washington made a blunder that cost the lives of almost all of his men. Learning from his mistake, Washington was able to outmaneuver the British army, which was the strongest of the time.

Thomas Edison – once quoted as saying “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work!” Edison is the perfect example of making mistakes. After thousands of his own mistakes, Edison learned all of the things he had done wrong in order to create the light bulb correctly. Had he quit, we would all be in a very different place.

Abraham Lincoln – while known for his two Presidential terms in the USA and his role in the Civil War, Lincoln’s political past is largely forgotten. In the years before the Presidential election in 1860, Lincoln had lost 8 out of 10 elections. Only two years prior, Lincoln had lost a U.S. Senate race. Learning from his mistakes, he was able to win the election and change the course of American history.

Learning From Your Mistakes
Even though the histories of these great men might resonate with you, sometimes it is better to have a tangible practice to help you learn from your mistakes. Here are a few of the things that you can do in order to learn from your mistakes more efficiently.

Meditation / Relaxation – initially, you cannot learn from your mistakes without relaxing. If you are stressed, your mind will think differently, you will take the wrong lessons, and ultimately you will learn nothing. You must compose yourself through either meditation or just through some time of relaxation where you can become more composed.

Write mistakes down – you need to visualize your mistakes and even diagram them to see at what level things started to fall apart. When you write it down, it will have a much deeper impact on you.
Be realistic / remove emotions – you have to be realistic with yourself when it comes to your mistakes. Do not be too harsh, do not be too easy on yourself. Just look at the event subjectively and see what you can learn.

Ask friends and family – you need more than your own perspective. Get the help from friends and family that you trust to see where you went wrong and how to correct things
Once you transition your brain to embrace mistakes in order to learn from them, you will find that you are far more free from outcome and able to utilize lessons better.

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A new way to conquer performance anxiety

 A recent Harvard study found that people who experience performance anxiety actually cope better if they tell themselves to get excited, rather than telling themselves to be calm.

Whether you are into music, acting, sport, or simply have to speak in front of a group of people, performance anxiety is shared by many people. Before a performance, you might experience racing heart, sweating, and blushing, but usually the number one experience will be digestive complaints. Things like butterflies, nausea or feeling sick. The funny thing is that the physiological sensations of excitement are often quite similar to the feelings of anxiety.

When you feel anxious, you are usually thinking about all the bad things that could happen. In contrast, when you are excited, you are focusing on all the positive things that might happen. Some nerves before a performance is actually a good thing – it keeps you focused, motivated and helps you to stay alert. For some people, telling yourself to calm down or relax before a performance actually might not work very well.

In the first part of the Harvard study, participants were told to prepare to engage in a public speaking event in which they would be filmed and judged by a committee. Before delivering their speech, participants were asked to practice saying “I’m excited” or “I’m calm”. The people who psyched themselves into being excited tended to perform much better.

In a further experiment, people were invited to participate in karaoke while their heart rate was monitored. They were randomly asked to tell themselves that they were anxious, excited, calm, angry or sad. The people who were instructed to focus on being excited about singing scored approximately 80 percent higher than other participants, based on their pitch, rhythm and volume.

So, at a physiological level, anxiety and excitement are pretty indistinguishable. In both instances, heart rate increases, stomach butterflies emerge, and people tend to sweat. Teaching yourself to cope with these feelings may come down to what it is you are saying to yourself before a performance. Since anxiety and excitement feel so similar, it might be easier to turn anxious feelings into excitement than it is to try to dissolve them into feeling relaxed. Even if you’re not immediately convinced, keep trying because the way that you talk to yourself has a powerful influence on your physiology. Rather than telling yourself to “keep calm” or “just relax” in a performance situation, try identifying the positive, exciting things about the performance. Of course, it’s important to acknowledge and accept that you are nervous and that this is normal. This technique is certainly not about denying the nerves, but it’s about gently suggesting an alternative way of thinking that might be more achievable.

What you can do to help performance anxiety

• Write or draw about the upcoming performance. Put an emphasis on including all the good, exciting things you’d like to happen (e.g., “here I am kicking a goal and feeling great!”, or “the audience will like my joke and smile at me”). A recent study published in Science found that people who wrote about their anxieties before an upcoming test tended to perform better. 

• Challenge yourself, your friends and your family to be regularly trying new activities that you think you might not be instantly good at. Too often, our self-esteem becomes tied with achievement because we are so afraid of failure.

• Spend time in activities that have no clear success or failure point. Things like meditation, yoga, and laughter groups are great because they help focus on continually developing life-long skills rather than achievement. 

• Remember that learning requires ups and downs, and practice makes progress. 

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How to read a book in 10 minutes

It takes a bit of getting used to but it really does work, with practice you can get what you need from the book and move on.

You can always come back to it later

Self Improvement Tips

Hey Guys and Girls,

The music is a little annoying but the tips are well worth it!